Parent of a Rogue Child

I must admit that I am watching one of the most difficult things in life. No pain that I know shatters more of a parental heart than the devastating linear grief resulting from a heart slowly poisoned and sickened by a son or daughter gone rogue.Death is brutal and often all too sudden, but it carries no rejection. Love soothes the loss. A rogue child inflicts little deaths every day that stab with rejection. The parental instinct is to protect and train, but it only makes it worse.So I watch and pray. Influence those who follow. Hold those who mourn. Endure the helpless rage. Love those who remain. Pray the shattered prayer of a parent of a rogue child.I wait. I pray. I watch. I try to breathe. I know the end from the beginning. The rogue child will return to you, God, in time. The rogue child may not return to the parent, but will return to the purpose and path they were born for, trained for, and passionate for. That is what we long for.

So Go Ahead…Don’t Believe

“…choosing not to believe in the devil doesn’t protect you from him.”  A brutal truth spoken by the role of Father Lucas, played by Anthony Hopkins, to his doubting apprentice.  I wonder if a similar truth also holds…true?  Choosing not to believe in God doesn’t protect you from Him?

This is not a post for the weak.  It is not for the saved who believe in a good, good Father as I believe.  I know that God is good and kind and patient.  I also know that He is jealous and hates and can be angered.  He is jealous for the affections of His children as a good parent longs for the affections of a child.  He hates the things that harm those He loves even as I hate the things that hurt not just my sons, but my spiritual sons and daughters as well.  He is angered by the lack of justice in the world, the misrepresentation of His Name, the deliberate rebellion inspired by the adversary.

I write this for you, the one who sees the evil in a world inspired by the adversary, yet refuses to acknowledge the source of this evil.  You see the addictions, the abuse, the selfishness, the complacency and hypocrisy, yet you refuse to believe that there is a voice that speaks into the weakest of minds. You know the stubborn refusal of a shattered heart to feel the pain caused by your own daily choices, yet you refuse to see that your will was ruled by an unseen advisor.

Choosing NOT to believe in the devil, the Adversary, did not protect you from him.  He has done the unspeakable and you don’t know which way to run…what voice to listen to…how you can be free of the nightmare.

I know the answer…

Choose to believe in God.  Choosing not to believe in God doesn’t protect you from His intensity…His existence…His pursuit.  You are sought after with a pursuit born out of the deepest love, an honest, pure and clean jealousy.  You are harmed by the things He hates and He fights against the adversary with a vengeance that belongs only to Him.  You are watched over by a fierce, and sometimes, angry Father who sees the injustice you do…the way you misrepresent Him in your weakness…the deliberate rebellion as you chase after your own identity while listening to someone or something else’s voice.

Believe in God.  Choose God.  Be broken and shattered, but be His child.  Listen to His voice.  Be loved, not tortured, because all this time…the long nights and lost days…all this time He has been watching, waiting, pursuing you in a way no parent ever could.  He has followed the evil that has hurt you and executed a hidden vengeance fueled by the intensity of love.  Risk facing the One once angered by the things you’ve chosen, because the peace on the other side of forgiveness, release of the anger and pain of separation, is the only answer you need.

So go ahead…